Many couples about to wed have lost someone important before the ceremony could take place. It might be a parent, a grandmother, a brother, or several loved ones. It’s common to want to honor these people at the ceremony. But you might be wondering how to include meaningful gestures without casting a pall over the event.
The way people go about this is a testament to human creativity. Of course, that doesn’t mean you have to get all stressed and do something “remarkable.” Keep it simple, and it will be just as moving.
Flowers
Flowers are a popular way to honor loved ones. One moving gesture is for the bride or groom to place a white rose in an empty chair (next to the aisle or in the first row) as they approach the altar. White roses are popular, but not necessary. Lilies of the valley for grandmother who loved them are wonderful. How about white carnations for a mother who loved their spicy fragrance? One bride placed one white mini calla in her bouquet for each person she wanted to remember.
Remembrance Tables
Couples like to top small banquet tables with photos, candles, vases of flowers or bouquets and explanatory signs at the reception. Sometimes, these items will be stand-alone. Sometimes, they’ll show up at the ceremony on the guestbook table, or on the altar.
Ways to remember your loved ones at the wedding.
Memorial bud vase, Exclusively Weddings. Memory Bouquet Frame, Jean M. Favors. Breast cancer awareness bracelet, Eye Candy Bracelets. Assorted awareness beads and charms, Art Beads.
Loving Words
A sensitive officiant is one of the best ways to bring loved ones to mind. Have him or her briefly memorialize the people behind your remembrance items. Also, you can dedicate a page to them in your program.
Food
This might seem a little more lighthearted, but you can honor family members by including a famous cookie or candy recipe with your desserts, a signature appetizer on the menu, or a favorite sweet in a candy buffet (did a father love Bit’O'Honey chews?). Include a small framed note that explains the connection. InsideWeddings tells the story of a bride who lost her brother Ryan several years before the ceremony. Her father had Ryan-brand wine served at the reception.
Music
If someone in the family has a gorgeous set of pipes, one of the most moving tributes is to have them sing a dedicated song at the ceremony. Another popular approach: ask the DJ to play a special dance for an aunt or grandfather who loved to shake it on the floor.
Memorial candle and white rose on chair.
Left: “In Loving Memory” candle by Rexcraft.
Clothing
A touching way to remember someone is to wear one of their personal items. Brides have worn their mother’s or grandmother’s veils, or sashes made from the wedding dress. Grooms have worn their father’s tuxes or cufflinks. And let’s not forget jewelry: brides have woven a rosary, locket or set of pearls into their bouquet, and worn a father’s ring around their neck or on their thumb.
Donations
The “donation in lieu of favors” is a time-tested way to honor someone you’ve lost to a physical illness. Individual cards or a framed table note will let guests know who was on your mind. Some brides set out real or enamel ribbons symbolizing the type of loss involved: pink for breast cancer, teal for ovarian or testicular cancer, and so on. (See Awareness Ribbons Meaning & Colors.) Another option: the bride and her bridesmaids wear awareness bracelets. You can buy the awareness charms individually and make your own, or source the finished bracelet from a number of sites.
Symbols
Anything that reminds you of a loved one is fine: butterfly bouquet picks, for example. Or a picture-frame pin and photo pinned to a bouquet wrap ribbon, or a monogram pin in the letter of someone you’ve lost. A number of stores sell “In Loving Memory” brooches you can pin to a sash or ribbon. InsideWeddings tells of a bride who parked a pink and white 1957 Nash Metropolitan in front of the wedding tent in memory of her mother.
Are you planning to remember someone special at your wedding? How are you going about it?
